Under The Skin of a Gold Fish

Suddenly as I was sitting in the office I was overpowered by fatigue, I thought I was overworked but alas! in spite of that moment of fancying myself as stressed .... I realized the air condition was switched off and there was no window...so fatigues meant in short that I was feeling stuffy....

In this weird weather where a chilling breeze from outside whizzed through the ever swinging front door ( opposite to which I sit rather squat on my seat) to mix with the stiffing heat inside I realized to my horror that I could not recall exactly what I was doing ( I know most of us perpetually wonder 'What Am I doin????' in office but this was more on the implementation side..... I was in short blank as my preps exam paper!)

Suddenly I felt like a gold fish ! And at this point of time I spoke to a Sanwli my colleague who so casually remarked she worked on a Mac as a part of her advertising course! So I'm feeling like a antiquated dead gold fish floating upside down with the world staring at me with that unnerving Awww..... look!!!) Why gold fish? Well gold fish I read some where has a memory of 3 seconds ( So you can spend a life time looking within, and wake up to a new day literally .... well well and can officially forget birthdays! )



Well I feel like a gold fish for more then the memory, Living in a city like a fancy fish pot , nice to look but stifling to live in, with the dirt and shit which I exude coming back and falling flat on me and still i doggedly swim around trying to ignore.

Once in a while a mysterious hand from outside comes in and with all ease topples my world and walks away in glee as I sit helpless and cribbing....

I feel like I swim all day because the minute I stop swimming I must be dead!, I swim for the heck of it with no purpose or destination in my little aquarium under the illusion that this is the world, for I have seen no other!

My Mind Goes Numb

Every person I know had just on word on their lips 'Terror' . It was all there... anger, tears, thoughts, contemplation, depression, disgust but all this was over powered by a sense of frustrated helplessness!

My mind feels like the tension in the currents of troubled water , a constant swish swoosh leading to a churning but producing nothing

What happened in Mumbai saw its slice of postmortem and gyan from every brain worth its grey cell ..... but still the road ahead is as hazy as its gets....maybe there is no way ahead ! Maybe we need to make our path instead of looking for the hidden route to the promised land.

For the first time I felt what Picasso's illustrious brush created in ' Scream'

Maybe instead of ripping every politician in our mind we could do something to constructively participate in the electoral process.... I never cribbed in a queue up to the McD counter but the queue up to the electoral both never comes to my mind as a default .... After all India has over a billion population ! And if we are still propping up a few slimy spineless worms as leaders then the fault is not in the governance but the governed (us!!)